I too am working through the overwhelming weight of grief. The sense of loss is immediate and futuristic simultaneously. I know with a fair amount of certainty what they want to create, and feel the shadows gathering into the storm they promise, all while they smile and promise to protect us. But the loss is greater than their dreams, it is the loss of what I believed to be true. The death I feel is the faith in better angels, a perception that somehow this darkness would be beaten back and light would prevail. The shock lies in the realization that those angels might have had darker feathers than I wanted to see. And seeing them with their true faces shatters my heart. It is not only that I feel endangered by their presence, but that I feel their presence was always there and I was the one not living in reality. I am grieving the image of what I thought existed, and am coping with the epiphany that this was their face all along.
I too am working through the overwhelming weight of grief. The sense of loss is immediate and futuristic simultaneously. I know with a fair amount of certainty what they want to create, and feel the shadows gathering into the storm they promise, all while they smile and promise to protect us. But the loss is greater than their dreams, it is the loss of what I believed to be true. The death I feel is the faith in better angels, a perception that somehow this darkness would be beaten back and light would prevail. The shock lies in the realization that those angels might have had darker feathers than I wanted to see. And seeing them with their true faces shatters my heart. It is not only that I feel endangered by their presence, but that I feel their presence was always there and I was the one not living in reality. I am grieving the image of what I thought existed, and am coping with the epiphany that this was their face all along.
This is beautiful and inspiring, thank you Shea from a sister Writer in the Dark.
Thank you so much, Amy!